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With the looming cadence of the pandemic, social unrest, political fury and isolation our collective nerves are frazzled.


The ever-present toll of the global pandemic is the backdrop for how lives are navigated these days. It has created a foundational shift in how Americans are navigating their lives. The essence of the human experience has deteriorated with the lack of social interaction, job opportunities, familial anchors and shifts of everyday routines. This isolating experience has been a direct cause in the uptick of presenting diagnosis of anxiety and depression. And the individual experience, as we self-reflect, has contributed to lower self-esteem in both adults and their children.


In April, the Journal of the American Medical Association underscored the point that economic stress, social isolation, reduced access to religious services and the collective anxiety Americans experienced increased firearm sales and healthcare worker suicides.


Parenting, too, has proven to be greatly affected by the onset of pandemic stressors. A University of Oregon shows that parents with children under 5 are the most stressed. Harvard’s Graduate School of Education, too, found that 61% of parents with youngsters aged 5, 6 and 7 years of age experienced the feeling of being more “nervous, anxious, or on edge” because of the pandemic.

With the seemingly loss of control, it is imperative we start understanding what we truly have control over. Notwithstanding mental illness, the only thing we have control over are our thoughts. And understanding the negative loops in our heads, recognizing these ruminations that are tainted in fear and purposefully exchanging negative thoughts with powerful positive thoughts can rewire the way we approach our everyday lives.


An abundance of free resources are available online to support this renewal of our thought patterns during times of marked life change.

7Cups, is an online therapeutic support networks that offers free counseling, https://www.7cups.com/. And groups such as The Squad, https://www.julielokuncoaching.com/join-the-jl-coaching-community, offers a community of empowerment and connection when authentic relationships seem to be a depleted resource. By creating an intimate environment that is infused with thought provoking, new ways to attack our “new normal” is the first step in combatting the emotional fatigue of 2020.


These 5 tips can help you calm your ever-present anxiety over the uncontrollable force the 2020 has pushed in our laps.


1. Create a community. By building an community of positive influencers in your life, their example can be contagious.


2. Exercise. Releasing endorphins, is perhaps, the most powerful self-inducing medicine that humans can experience. Take a walk. Take an online yoga class. Join a Covid-Safe gym. Whatever your choice, just get out and start moving.


3. Know when you are at your limit. When you are about to scream or if you find yourself hibernating in your bed binging Netflix, because you just can't deal--this is the point when you need to reach out to the anchors in your life. No one can do this alone. And, even if you are technically alone, the voice of a person you trust, can be the salve that calms the calamity.


4. Find a hobby. Has there been something you have been meaning to do--but have made excuses with consistent avoidance? Pick up the paint brush or pen and start crafting out a space to release your creative energy. This is a powerful way to shift your mind and engage in a heart-felt extesion of your internal experience.


5. Write it down. A journal is an inexpensive way to funnel your feelings of angst onto paper and effectively release tension. Make this a daily practice. And remember that what you write does not have to be perfect--because that is not what the human experience is about. You will have, in essense, a historical snapshot of your experiences.


Whatever method you chose, invest in yourself by working through the clutter in your brain. Remember, you are not alone. We are all in this together.

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Do you feel off? Do you lack motivation and direction? Try my proven method.



Let's talk MORNINGS.

Birds chirp, coffee is brewing and you are dressed immaculately for what is yet to come. Your mind is in the game. You are taking the bull by the horns and calling all the shots.



Now let's talk reality.

As the light filters in through the window, you begin the dance with your snooze alarm. With one press of the button, you allocate 9 minutes of semi-sweet, yet regretful slumber. I understand the avoidance of your jam-packed days and I know you are blissfully content insulated cocoon of your bed. However, I challenge you tomorrow morning to ask yourself, "What is more important- 30 minutes of non-productive REMs or 30 minutes of centering yourself for the rest of your day"?


It is at this moment you have the power to control your thoughts and actions for the rest of the day.




The first 30 minutes are the most powerful of the day. This leap into the next 24 hours can be centered and focused in the first 30 and give you the ability to mentally narrate your day. In fact, the practice of infusing a morning ritual into one's morning is a common thread in the characteristic make-up of the world's most highly successful people.



Ancient traditions had clearly understood the power of rituals in reinforcing habits and changing the way we see and create our reality a long, long time ago.

One of the most effective ways of changing our belief patterns is through practicing and maintaining daily rituals. Ancient traditions had clearly understood the power of rituals in reinforcing habits and changing the way we see and create our reality a long, long time ago.


What Really Works:


The method that I have adapted and incorporated into my daily routine is that it is easy, accessible and really, really works. Every morning I awake to an enveloping silence at 5:30 am. The darkness and calm lull me into the push and pull of

"Should I get up? I am so comfortable?"--Or "Should I be the person I want to be today"?


By remaining in bed I will erase the foundational power to direct my thoughts and actions. The first thing we think or read will frame our mind for the upcoming events of the next 24 hours. And I know this is true, if I start my day with a sprint to the shower and a quick scan of all my social media my day is a series of mindless interactions. I know I will lose focus and mindlessly dismiss the purpose of my day. This, for me, is the underpinning of how I become untethered from the purpose of my life.


I know this sounds dramatic-but if I lounge in bed until 7:30 without laying the foundation for my day I acquiesce to my hours and become an inactive participant. My day will direct me. I will not direct my day.


MY MORNING RITUAL

  • Wake- 30 minutes before you plan to get out of bed.

  • Do not reach for your phone.

  • Repeat your daily intention (or prayer). Get Your mind ready. Read an inspirational message or quote. Center yourself. Meditate.

  • Drink of cup of tea , water or coffee.

  • Get moving and stretching. Whatever you fancy.

  • Repeat Daily.

you got this. Julie

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Updated: Aug 2, 2020

A Coach's Guide To Self-Worth
You are Worthy Just Because You are You

Every Choice We Make Is directly related to how we feel about ourselves at that moment.*


Let me say that again.


Every choice we make is directly related to how we feel about ourselves at that VERY moment.


So, take a moment to think about where you are at this very moment.


  • What choices have led you here?

  • Are you happy with these choices or are you struggling with these choices?

  • Are you stuck in a cycle of a continual pattern?

  • Same okay job for 15 years?

  • Same okay relationship for 15 years?

  • Same extra 15 pounds for years and years?


How do we become unstuck of these patterns and become a peak performer?

Let us start with the basics.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need is the gold standard in laying the foundation of how we can move our lives to a higher level.


Do you remember this colorful pyramid in your high school Psych Class? If you have forgotten- here is a little refresher:



Maslow outlines the basic needs of humans. The most important need being physiological. (Food, Water, Warmth, etc). The next tier is Safety- every human has the need to feel secure in the confines of their own space. Following safety is Love and Belonging are an essential cog in the hierarchy of self-actualization. Maslow, then theorizes that ESTEEM plays a pivotal role in the journey to living our best lives. Self Esteem is defined as a realistic respect for or a favorable impression of oneself; self-respect. Without embracing the intrinsic acknowledgment of self-worth we are stagnant.


And at the apex of this pyramid is self-actualization. This is the moment in time the human experience is at a point of peak performance.


Peak Performance is characterized by Significance, Fulfillment, and Spiritual Oneness.


Simply put, when we inhabit the realm of peak performance we have an increase in personal awareness and understanding. As you reach fulfillment you generate positive emotions you are rewarded with moments of pure joy. As a result, you feel at one with the universe and experience the phenomena of losing track of time. Losing track of time-this is a delicious moment of pure happiness. When all your creativity, love, and intention is poured out of your soul and into an experience. I often get lost in time when I am writing. My brain is so engulfed in the bliss of the moment I often look up at the clock and realize 4 hours have passed.


Peak Performance sounds amazing. Doesn’t it? Often you experience this moment during moments of creativity or excelling physically. It is when we do the work and when we attain full self-awareness we are able to live in this truly happy, authentic space.


OBSTACLES

What keeps us from reaching our true potential?


Notwithstanding illness or abuse, it is the person in the mirror that holds us back. We are the biggest contributor to our slow progression towards actualization. We are a solitary army that fights off growth opportunities that lead to expansion. We continually accept false beliefs that we are not good enough or worthy of living a life of exponential abundance. We become conspirators in self-sabotaging.


Self Sabotage.


Fact: We have all participated in some form of sabotage.

We have betrayed ourselves at an organic level. We don't believe in our worth. We choose the wrong partner. We stay with the wrong partner. We take a job that does not accentuate our talents. We press rewind, replaying the negative loop in our minds that we are not worthy.



Self Sabotage Is Disguised As:
  • Not devoting time and space to making changes

  • Your capacity to change is dependent on others

  • You are a perfectionist who is dismissive of incremental changes

  • You are TOO BUSY CHASING COWS TO BUILD A FENCE (think about that one)

  • Or you are on a pleasure and denial binge.


Often Self Sabotage is cloaked in energy-draining activities-like:

  • Wasting time trying to reinvent the wheel

  • Holding space for everyone else who needs your advice or help

  • Procrastination

  • Creating self-imposed rules that lead to not doing the things you need to do,

  • Actively participating in a pattern that is comfortable.


Does any of this resonate?


  • Now I challenge you to think about your biggest desires.

  • What is holding you back?

  • Does this closely correlate to how you feel about yourself?

  • How do you self sabotage? I know this is huge.


Coaching Advice:

  • Do the work. Take action. Do the real work -this may provoke feelings of uncomfortable unease. Walk through this unease of accepting your intrinsic worthiness-and look at your life with an objective eye.

  • Create a practice of self-love. It may sound silly at the moment, but put reminders all around that shout, " I am worthy"! Every baby born is anointed with intrinsic worth. You do not have to achieve big things to be a person of worth. You do not have to be an extraordinary helper to be a worthy person. And you do not have to be perfect to claim the title of worthiness. You just have to be you. That's it. You deserve good things, just because you are you.

  • For fun, try the app " I AM" .

Click on the heart icon below to get more information on the I AM app.


It is free and it sends reminders throughout your day that you are deeply worth all of life's treasures.


But just know that you deserve so much in your life. You are worthy. You are worthy of great things.

Leave A Legacy. You Got This---Julie




*(Notwithstanding Illness or Abuse)

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